Quote of the day

"That motherfucker smoked my rock and I'm gonna fucking kill him."

-Some random person at the Salvation Army I'm now working at.


This is a new experience. When I worked at the food bank back home, there was a noticeable "us and them" mentality. At the Salvation Army, American poverty is right before my eyes. I was in charge of the showers today. I gave the people who signed up towels and soap and yelled at them when they took a shower longer than 15 minutes, as that was what I was told to do. Some of the people down there are the friendliest people I've met in Worcester, which isn't too much of a stretch. But they're also some of the friendliest people I've met in a long time. These are the people our country steps on and tries to hide when someone important is looking. These people don't deserve that crap. These people deserve more than coffee, mediocre baked goods, and soup. They deserve more than getting kicked out on the street at 2 in the afternoon (not to mention the weather today was positively frigid) because thats when Salvation Army closes its doors to them. These people deserve more than having doors closed to them no matter where they go. They deserve more than the uncomfortable looks and indignant dismissal whenever someone sees them that they get. They deserve more respect than we could possibly imagine.

How dare we, people of privelege, ever disrespect these people? They have lived through more than many people can even imagine, but we treat them like human garbage.

For the first time in a while, I honestly gave all of my change to someone who asked me for it. I was walking back from work at 5 smoking the 2nd cigarette I'd smoked all day (yay me)and a man came up to me and asked for a light. I obliged. We got to talking and we had a pleasant conversation about the ludicrous price of cigarettes, as this man was smoking a butt he found on the ground. He told me he was a homeless veteran (which I only half believe because I want to think he was an honest person) and he only had $1.75. After a couple of more minutes of talking, he timidly asked me if I had any spare change. I reached into my pocket and dug out about .36 cents. At least it brought him up to $2. He appreciated it. He didn't tell me what he needed it for. I didn't want to know. It was fucking frigid out and no man should sleep on the street tonight (or at all for that matter).

I also found out why I got fired today. It was largely a lack of communication with my boss, which I honestly think is fine. I wish he'd told me, but there's no point in staying pissed at him. He expected me to be independent. I expected him to help me along. It was a conflict of interest and I don't put anymore blame on Worcester Publishing.
If I hadn't gotten fired, I never would have gotten the chance to work at the Salvation Army.

Immediately, seeing that much poverty in such a small amount of time was very stressful. But I'm starting to see that it was important to see what I saw. Tomorrow, I get to see it again. I hope I don't lose the lesson I'm learning here. My mother told me on the phone today that everyone's a paycheck away from what I saw today. I disagree. These aren't people who just lost there job. These are people who have been fucked over by a system that doesn't care about them. It makes my blood boil to know that these people are being fucked over as we speak. There are people sleeping on the streets of the city I live in right now and I don't like it. The places for the homeless to stay in Worcester are grossly ambiguous. A lot of these people do not know there is a place for them to go.

In other news, my Worcester experience is winding down. Tomorrow is my last full day as a resident of Worcester, Massachusettes. Most of me says "about fucking time". I would not say that the entire thing was a positive experience for me. I would say that the internship (yes, even the part where I got fired) and volunteering at Salvation Army have really helped me. I think that every other part of it was pretty shitty. All of the mandatory community shit was fucking stupid. I would have had more time to do this shit and find things in the city of Worcester if I didn't have to spend my tuesday nights sitting in a fucking building being forced to be part of a community I already was a part of.

My last record review is in Worcester Magazine. Its a good one. Its at the bottom of the page at this location: http://www.worcestermag.com/archives/2005/12-15-05/pm_nightlife.html

Boston is very near. I'm excited, and a little nervous, but its a good nervous. This will be the first time living away from home without being part of a program and I'll be away for a while. Its keeping me on my toes. Its also keeping my spirits up.

Tomorrow, I have a lot of work. I have to give a presentation on the internship I had until earlier this week. My fate is in the hands of Morgan, who is supposed to give me a CD with all of the photos I took on it. They were all at work saved on my computer. He's not home yet and I'm getting the trembles.

OH ALSO! BIG NEWS WHICH I HAVEN'T POSTED HERE YET! Septonic Records (the record label I run which is home to The Runs and Blood Fuck) is releasing some of Another Nameless Corpse's material. I'm gonna do it sometime after I move to Boston so I can get a sort of concrete home-base, rather than just doing it here and knowing in a few months, I'll be gone.

Well, thats all for now. Perhaps more later.